Life of the Party
by ringanybells
Summary: Veronica Mars had nerve showing up at Shelley's party. At first, Logan is mad, then, long ignored worry kicks in. He rushes to locate her, but what he finds instead terrifies him. Can his rescue erase the damage a year of torture has done? LoVe Friendship


Logan watches Duncan disappear back into the house, half carrying Veronica Mars. He doesn't get his best friend anymore. A few months ago, Logan could have sworn he'd propose to the blonde pixie. Then out of nowhere he'd ended things. The split had not only crushed Veronica but it had put a strain between the relationships of the rest of the Fab Four. Logan had chewed Duncan out for the way he'd done it, Veronica had been like family to him. Lilly had stopped talking to her brother all together, for a week any way. Then she'd totally turned a new leaf, claiming that Veronica was better off and everyone should just move on. But they'd been unable to, because Lilly had been murdered. And Veronica's father had accused Duncan's. And now nothing was the way it was supposed to be.

Logan had sided with Duncan, told Veronica to choose. He hadn't wanted to, but he had been trying to let Duncan know he was on his side. Since Duncan and Veronica still hadn't been speaking, Logan had figured it wouldn't be that big a deal. But things had run away from him. Veronica was an outcast. All of the 09ers shunned her, even though they'd once followed her. Duncan had seemed pleased with the state of things, never standing up for Veronica, though never being the first to knock her down either. In the beginning, Logan had been cruelest. He'd been trying to make himself hate her, so that living without her would be easier. The others had taken his queue; he didn't even need to be involved now. But he still did it. Because even though he wanted to forget about Veronica, he couldn't stand the thought of her forgetting him.

So when he'd seen her stumble out to the hot tub, he'd followed. Having spent the better part of four years hanging out with her and the Kanes, he could safely consider himself a Mars expert, which is how he knew she was drunk, well past where she normally stopped herself. He saw her collapse on the lounge chair and, checking to make sure no one was watching, he'd leaned in to check her breathing, softly calling her name. Her response had been a quiet, "Mm Logan, I missed you." Her soft voice had pulled at his heart, but instead of taking care of her, as he wanted to, he pushed the feeling away. He had done so well, getting her out of his head and heart, to help her now would destroy all that progress.

So, he organized the salt lick. It hurt to watch the tiny blonde objectified this way, but not nearly as much as it had hurt when she'd chosen her father over him. He had never been very open, no one person knew all his secrets, but the other members of the Fab Four collectively did. Lilly had been his girlfriend, Duncan was his best friend, between them they knew most of his secrets, including his run ins with Aaron. He'd never told Veronica about them, wanting to protect her from that kind of evil. Instead, he'd opened up to her in a way he hadn't with the Kane siblings. He'd told Veronica about his hopes and dreams for the future. He'd gone to Veronica for help whenever Lilly's antics made him feel unwanted. He'd trusted her with his heart. She chose to step on it. That meant she deserved whatever happened to her.

Duncan had disagreed. He'd stepped in, stopping Logan's vengeance. Duncan, the boy who'd left Veronica high and dry without so much as a word since before Lilly died, was telling him he was a jerk. It just didn't make sense. How could Duncan hate her enough to cut her out of his life completely- before Lilly's death, with no reason- but not understand that she deserved this for causing them pain? Not that it mattered. Duncan was his friend. So he'd followed him, handed him the cup, even though he knew it was a stupid idea, and apologized. Logan's reasoning was that if Duncan and Veronica, uninhibited and together in the same room, could mend their relationship, then maybe Logan could be able to do the same, because as much as he hated to admit it, he missed Veronica.

As the door closes behind Duncan, Logan decides to kill an hour, give them the chance to talk. He goes toward the first pretty face he sees and offers to show her a good time. They exit through the side gate, by which Logan had parked, in case the cops had shown up and he'd had to make a break for it. When he'd gotten caught by the cops last time, Aaron had given a new definition to the phrase 'shredded.' If anyone had seen it, they would have thought a lion had used him as a scratching post, the belt had cut so deep. But he allows that image to leave his mind, forces the image of Veronica barely able to stand out with it, and tries to focus on the freshman in his lap.

It doesn't last as long as he would have hoped. After an hour, he's lost interest in her, his mind too distracted by Duncan's actions earlier. He not so politely tells her to vacate the vehicle, and then moves toward the front door of Shelley's house. As he's walking up the drive, he sees a familiar car, except it's covered in graffiti, horrible things that even he had never dared think. Who would wish Lilly's murder on anyone else, especially Veronica Mars, 5 time winner of the Miss Congeniality Award? He moves toward the front door now, quicker than before, because he's known Veronica four years and she's never stayed at a party this late even when she was friends with all those present.

He moves through the living room, sees Duncan passed out on the couch. That frightens him. He assumed that Duncan would stay with Veronica, especially because she'd barely been able to stand. Why would Duncan leave her in that condition? And all of a sudden it's like the last few months never happened. Veronica is no longer the girl he spends his days teasing, she is once again the girl he has spent years protecting. And he can't find her.

This new found panic reminds him of another time, so long ago, when Veronica had been missing. They'd been in his pool house, his parents in New York for one of Aaron's premieres. The four of them had been drinking. Veronica, the light weight had fallen asleep first. Logan and Lilly had fallen asleep on the couch beside her not long after. In the morning, Logan had woken to a barely awake, but completely frantic Lilly. Veronica was no longer in the chair she'd fallen asleep in. Lilly and Logan, still a little drunk from the night before, had gone through the pool house searching for her. They'd found Duncan asleep in the bathroom, but there had been no Ronnie, and no note saying she'd left. Tears had begun running down Lilly's face, she'd been terrified for her best friend, swearing she was never going to let Veronica out of her sight again. As he walked past the window, he had spotted her. Veronica was asleep on one of the pool side lounge chairs. Lilly and Logan had both rushed out to her. Upon hearing Lilly's voice, Ronnie had awoken to explain that she'd had to pee. Rather then try and wake or move Duncan, she'd simply gone into the main house. On her way back, she'd simply been too tired and had lain down. Lilly had let out a half chuckle, half sob, telling Veronica that she had been scared to death. Veronica had apologized, and the three of them had sat on that chair until Duncan had awoken them almost two hours later, Lilly's head in Veronica's lap, and Logan's arm around her shoulders.

There'd been no real reason to worry back then, Veronica had barely had anything to drink. But tonight, she'd been barely able to stand. She'd even thought seeing Logan was a good thing. Logan needed to find her before something happened, because Lilly would never forgive him.

He moves through the crowd of people in the kitchen, still partying and makes his way down the hall. The first room he tries, Mr. Pomroy's office, is empty. A little further down the hallway is another door. He opens it to find a very occupied couple, going at it on the bed. He is about to close it and continue his search when he sees the hair splayed out on the pillow. He knows those tresses, had seen them braided and pig-tailed and once, for a talent show, dyed temporarily pink. Veronica.

It takes him about one second to remember two very important things. The first being, that Veronica is a virgin, saving herself for marriage. The second being that the only guy she'd ever thought about marrying was currently passed out back in the living room. It takes him one more second to realize she isn't moving, at all.

Logan's vision becomes tinged with red as he moves into the room. He grabs the guy by his shoulders, hurling him off the bed and into the wall. He recognizes Beaver instantly, how could he not. His eyes go back to Veronica, waiting to hear her yell at him, but instead he sees blood on the sheets, and red marks on her thighs, where her dress is still hiked up. He stops for a second, his brain not making sense of the image before him. The only reason there would be those marks is if Beaver had had to force her legs open, but that would imply a scenario his brain could not process. He turns to Beaver, sees the guilt spread across his face. Logan realizes that the scenario his brain is trying to reject is the correct one. Logan has, in fact, just interrupted Cassidy Casablancas raping a girl, but no, not just any girl. He turns back to Veronica, moves toward her to check for a pulse. He finds it and exhales, but when he turns around Beaver is gone. Logan knows he won't make it far, but helping Veronica is more important than chasing him down and murdering him.

He turns back to the blonde, brain dead for a second. He wants to hold her, to wake her up, to make sure she is all right. But that isn't what she needs. So he pulls out his cell phone and dials emergency services. He is barely aware of the conversation he has, he is too busy watching the rise and fall of Veronica's chest. He stands back, waiting for the arrival of the ambulance. He wants to hold her hand, but is afraid. He steps toward the bed and softly calls her name.

The ambulance pulls up, he hears the sirens. He doesn't want to leave Veronica but someone has to bring them back here. He runs, trying to minimize the time he spends away from her. There are two paramedics, pushing a stretcher. They follow Logan, through the crowd of party goers, who have parted like the Red Sea to either side. Logan does not pay any attention to them, focusing only on getting back to the bedroom in which he left Veronica.

The paramedics get right to work, checking her pupils, her breath sounds. They talk to themselves, Logan watching fearfully from the corner. They load Veronica on the stretcher, head out the door, back through the crowd. Logan is right on their heels. He doesn't miss the whispered voices as he passes this time. He ignores them.

They stop at the ambulance, push the stretcher inside. Logan moves forward to climb in, but the paramedic holds up a hand. Logan can only think of Veronica, of not leaving her side. He says the first thing that comes into his head, "Please, sir, she's my girlfriend. I want to stay with her." The paramedic relents and drops his arm, allowing Logan access to the bus.

The ride to the hospital takes forever, but at the same time, is over so quickly. Logan is in a daze. His mind is still trying to wrap itself around what has just happened. Cassidy Casablancas was supposed to be his friend, the shy, quiet younger brother of one of his best friends. He wasn't supposed to be capable of this. More than that, Logan could not process how anyone could do this to Veronica. She was so chaste, he could remember the week they'd spent in health class talking about sex. Veronica had practically been crimson from blushing so much. She was Lilly's best friend, didn't that offer some kind of protection.

That's when it all clicked. Being Lilly's friend had offered Veronica protection, when she'd been alive. Now that Lilly was gone, and Logan had declared open season on Veronica, this was practically his fault. If he had stuck by her, no one would have dared try something like this.

They arrive at the hospital and get right to work. Logan stands back out of the way as they try to help Veronica. He answers questions when the doctor asks them. It occurs to him that if this was any other girl, his answers would be quite different. But the girl lying there is Veronica Mars, a girl he once loved, a girl he still loves, for all that he's tried to hide it. He tells the doctor that there was booze at the party. He tells the doctor that he knows drugs were at the party, but that Veronica isn't the kind of girl to willingly take anything. He tells the doctor how he found her.

He's glad the nurses don't remove him while they work to hook up her IVs, to flush whatever might be in her system, while they draw blood for tests. But then they need him to leave. She was raped, and they need to do a rape kit, for the police. The nurse walks him to a waiting room, she's wearing a look of sympathy, but Logan barely notices her. Before she leaves she tells him that the Sheriff is on his way, and that Mr. Mars will be here soon as well. Logan has had his share of booze tonight. He was at a party with alcohol and drugs. Hell, at one point, he had those drugs in his possession. He brought an unconscious girl to the hospital. That's more than enough for Lamb to give him a hard time, to call Aaron. But Don Lamb does not scare Logan, not nearly as much as former sheriff Keith Mars, whose daughter Logan came in with.

It doesn't take long for Keith to arrive. Logan has been sitting in a daze, reliving the

past few months, unable to believe his own behavior. How could he have acted that way to Veronica, she was Lilly's best friend, his friend. It's in this state that Keith approaches him, the only familiar face in the waiting room. He doesn't know that Logan and Veronica have been at war for weeks, that they haven't spoken a kind, sober word since Lilly Kane was murdered. He knows that the last time he saw them together was standing over their friend's grave, arms wrapped around each other, crying. He knows that whenever he asked Veronica about Logan she would get a sad look in her eyes and tell him that it was too hard to be around him without Lilly. He also knows that the pained expression in Logan's eyes tonight has nothing to do with his murdered girlfriend.

He approaches the dazed teenage boy. He puts his hand on Logan's shoulder, bringing the boy's eyes up to meet his own. "Logan, what happened?"

But Logan's adrenaline has subsided and now he can't get the two images out of his head, his girlfriend lying in a pool of her own blood poolside, Veronica lying in a pool of her own blood on a strange bed. He wasn't there for either of them. The words that come out are not explanations, but apologies. He apologizes for leaving Veronica alone, for leaving Lilly alone, for letting anything happen to the two girls that he loves. Keith knows Logan won't be able to answer his questions and can see the pain in the boy's eyes. He wraps Logan in a hug and lets the boy cry.

He listens to Logan's barely coherent words, not even trying to make sense of them. When the doctor comes over, Keith considers standing, but doesn't want to abandon the broken boy beside him. When he realizes the doctor is there, Logan's words stop coming. The doctor explains Veronica's condition to her father. There's a touch of alcohol present. Keith can ignore this, she'd gotten drunk with Lilly on more than one occasion. She has GHb in her system, she'll be out for a few hours. Keith knows his daughter, she doesn't do drugs. He's also a former cop, GHb is more commonly referred to as the date rape drug, given to unknowing women, which is why he's not exactly surprised by the doctor's next words. The rape kit came back positive.

He's not surprised but he's pissed. And the anger is aimed in the direction of the newly arrive sheriff. Keith wants answers, and so does Lamb. Logan has come out of his shock enough to answer them. So that they don't disrupt the entire waiting room, the doctor leads them to an empty room by Veronica's.

Both men start in with their questions, but Logan no longer has the strength to lie. The room they are in has a window, and the view is both beautiful and terrible. So as the two men bombard Logan with questions, he stares down at the still form of the petite blonde that he's tried so hard to hate because he'd loved her too much to just forget her. The answers come, he doesn't care what kind of trouble he gets in. This is the only thing he can offer Veronica, the truth, the chance to have the people responsible for this arrested.

Keith can read the anger and worry in every line of Logan's body. He knows that Logan would never wish this kind of pain on any woman, especially not Veronica. He can sense just how upset seeing Veronica like this is making Logan. He's known the boy since he was twelve, he's never heard Logan sound apologetic. He's only ever seen Logan cry graveside, yet even as he relays the events of the party, silent tears fall. Hearing Logan continue to apologize for not taking better care of Veronica, cursing himself for leaving her side, Keith finds he cannot blame the boy.

Then Logan comes to the part of the story where he goes to find Veronica. He's pulled no punches so far, telling the men that he allowed his drunken friends to use Veronica as a part of their drinking game, admitting to giving Duncan a dose of drugs. But his voice tightens as he relays searching the house. When he gets to the part when he opens the door, his throat closes up. It takes several moments for him to get enough control to speak the words they need to hear.

This time, Logan's voice is quiet, as if he's afraid speaking too loudly will cause even more damage. He tells the two older men how he recognized Veronica's hair and noticed that she was not moving. He tells them that he didn't waste a second before barging into the room and pulling the man off of her. He identifies Cassidy but confesses to letting him go in the interest of making sure Ronnie was alright. Lamb finishes taking notes of Logan's story, and then turns to Keith, promising to find Cassidy and have him cuffed before the night is over. Keith can only nod, because more than almost anything, he wishes he had that damn star on his chest once again. The former sheriff returns his gaze to his daughter, waiting for his replacement to leave. If Lamb hasn't found the boy by the time Veronica wakes up, Keith will do it himself. But he won't leave until he knows she is alright.

With no questions left, Keith places his hand on Logan's shoulder and gestures toward the door. They move from the room they were in to Veronica's, both desperate to be closer to her. Each man takes a seat on either side of her, prepared to wait out the effects of the drug. A long week of late cases causes Keith to nod off, but Logan is still too juiced to sleep. His mind is all over the place and his heart is too. He hates himself for what he did to the girl in front of him, and he swears he can almost hear Lilly screaming for the same reasons. Unable to take the silent, self-inflicted beating any longer, he leans forward and grabs Veronica's hand.

"I'm sorry, Ronnie, you have no idea how sorry. I don't know how everything got so messed up. I've never been so scared before. God, it seems like just yesterday, the four of us were sitting on the beach planning our lives together. But it wasn't yesterday, was it? Because yesterday, you and Duncan weren't speaking; and yesterday I made fun of your mother; and yesterday I sat at Lilly's headstone and apologized. Nothing is how it's supposed to be, Ronnie. And I hate it. I miss what we used to be. I miss Lilly's adventurous spirit, always trying to find new ways to piss Celeste off. I miss Duncan's presence, before the anti-depressants and the grief. But most of all I miss you. I miss watching movies with you when the two of them were out of town. I miss playing soccer with you on the weekends. I miss watching you blush every time Lilly tries to get you to wear something out of her wardrobe. And I miss the way you used to look at me, like I was the funniest person you'd ever talked to, like I could do no wrong. I miss talking to you about the future, about colleges and career paths and planning ridiculous trips around the world. I never should have made you choose. It was wrong for me to ask you to side with Duncan's family over your own. I didn't understand, before, what I was asking you to give up. You choose the right one. I wish I could undo the last few months, take back everything I've said to you since that day."

Logan continues talking to Veronica, spilling every regret and confession that has built up since that day in the library. He talks until his throat hurts and then he has just one thing left to say, "Please, Veronica, wake up and be you. Wake up and tell me we can put this whole year behind us, because I don't want to live another day without your friendship. I love you, Ronnie, and I just want my friend back." Logan falls silent and eventually sleep claims him. He falls asleep still holding Veronica's hand, his head on the hospital bed.

When Keith wakes in the morning, he is greeted by the bright eyes of his daughter. She holds one finger to her lips and gestures toward Logan, a confused look on her face. Keith moves forward in order to explain everything to Veronica. He tells her about what happened at the party and how Logan saved her. Tears run silently down Veronica's face as she listens. The party had been a mistake, she never should have gone. When her father finishes explaining everything to her, she once again gestures toward Logan. A small smile blooms on Keith's face. He hadn't been asleep when Logan had made his little speech. He looks at his daughter, trying to figure out how much to reveal. In the end, he simply leans forward and places a kiss on her forehead, "Everyone deserves a second chance, honey, and I think Logan has earned his." He stands, excusing himself, going in search of coffee, a doctor, and a phone to call Lamb.

Veronica looks down at Logan, the boy who used to play such a huge roll in her world. She had so few memories that didn't include him, and most of her best ones held his smiling face. Lilly's death had changed them all, turned their worlds upside down. Maybe the last few months had merely been the dust settling. Logan had saved her and he had sat by her side all night. She looks down at their still entwined hands. Using her unclaimed one, she reaches over and runs her fingers through his hair. He opens his eyes slowly.

She sees everything she needed to right there. There is no hostility or hate, only concern and hope. Her father was right, Logan had earned a second chance. She allows a small smile to cross her face. "I missed you, Logan."

Logan's breath hitches as she repeated the same words from the night before. But this time, he allows his heart to answer her. Everything will not fix itself overnight, but today is most definitely a step toward a better tomorrow. He brings her hand to his lips and places a soft kiss there, reaching out with his other hand to push her hair behind her ear. "I missed you, too."


End file.
